Monday, June 19, 2006


Light amplified by stimulated emissions of radiation.

That's right.

Be afraid.

Fort Bend Democrats are now armed with lasers.

Utilizing advanced technology rarely glimsped outside supermarkets and gas stations, we are finally to integrate phone banking, block-walking, volunteer recruitment, voter ID and so much more into one seamless module.

It's called the VAN, short for Voter Activation Network. And if you're a Texas Democrat organization, you need it. At our fingertips is an interactive database of every registered voter in all of CD22 and Fort Bend County. From this database, I can create a list and cast as wide or narrow a net as I like. Want every registered voter in precinct? Done. Want everyone on a certain street in Simonton who voted in the 2004 Democratic primary? Easy. Asian females making over $65,000/yr in New Territory? Piece of cake. Nurses who voted in the last three general elections but never in a primary? Oh snap, we've got that too. There are profession, issue and activist codes that can be assigned to any voter. Interns all over the state have been pouring through AMA guides, union roll calls, school district materials, and assigning professions to voters. All using lasers.

I can print a walk list (ordered by street, even addresses first, then odds), a mailing label list (by unique households) or a call list. And they print with bar codes. For every question or piece of information I'm asking a canvasser to solicit, I print an answer key, which has bar codes for each answer. When the lists come back, we scan the answers back in. You can update 900 voters in 15 minutes.

A longtime Democrat and former candidate was in the office watching the new system recently. He was telling me how back when he was blockwalking a decade ago, they would just a pick a street and start knocking on doors. Even our techniques in 2004, which were a quantum leap at the time, now seem stone age compared to what we can do with minimal labor using the VAN. Add that to the ability to deliver highly targeted messages to key demographic groups, and you have a genuine godsend.

I actually don't know if the Fort Bend Republican party has a laser...But I still imagine the scene inside their smoky volcano hide-out:


Blogger Rev. Joseph G. Steadman said...

I think it would be more effective for your party if your party were armed with a stand on issues.

No flip flopping...

The Rev.

12:44 AM  
Anonymous TX Democratic Party said...

Just wanted to let Texas Democrats know that candidates, SDEC members, County Chairs & Precinct Chairs can sign up for the online voter file at by clicking on "Request an Account".

Mark - glad you're enjoying our new system and love the photoshop!

8:41 AM  
Blogger muse said...

Bringing out the flip flopping thing is really, really sad. You are reaching. Back to 2004. It looks like you are hoping against hope that tired phrase will work for you again in 2006.

7:18 PM  
Anonymous Elizabeth said...

I was just thinking the same thing, Muse. But maybe such outdated slogans remind the Rev of the good ol' days, before his party started flailing around in its own excrement. But Rev, baby, y'all messed your own bed. The thing I don't understand is why you don't want to change the sheets.

1:42 PM  
Blogger muse said...

People! I HAVE SEEN THE LASER. With my own eyes. In person. All opponents should definitely be trembling in fear. The laser is fast, the laser is efficient and the laser treats everyone equally. The laser is demcratic. Fear the laser.

9:43 PM  

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