What is the fewest number of pejoratives needed to accurately describe Shelley Sekula Gibbs?

Today, I'm going with four: Unprincipled sycophantic flip-flopping race-baiter.

You may have heard the news. Shelley Gibbs has jumped on the immigrant bashing bandwagon, joining up the terrifying extremists known as Protect Our Citizens. The group seeks to end the Houston police department's "sanctuary policy," a 16 year-old HPD order that commands local cops not to inquire about immigration status or enforce federal immigration laws. The policy is aimed at making sure Houston's 250,000 undocumented aliens are not afraid to call 911 or cooperate with police investigations:



But as I am sure Poetess Shelley would tell us, "Who knows what tomorrow may bring?"

Now, when you're an opportunistic puppet (ok, 6 pejoratives) looking to impress right-wing precinct chairs on a deadline, you don't have time to shop around for the perfect extremists. I mean, it's go-time. You just gotta latch onto the first collection of hate-mongers with a working knowledge of basic HTML and a possible a photo op.

And Shelley has found some particularly nasty hate-mongers. Their thesis? That Mexican drug cartels will take over the city by electing Democratic candidates. Seriously. It's the first article on their website. Citing incendiary rhetoric from Tom Tancredo, P.O.C. warns us that Mexican cartels will begin buying small restaurants, used-car lots and auto body shops, and then run Mexican candidates for city and county government who will let the drug cartels operate with impunity. I would reprint the article, but I am afraid my blog may catch intellectual chlamydia...

The POC website is a hodge-podge of error laden rants, bizarrely formatted with long, seemingly random sections of bold and underscore. Real excerpt: "Not only does this don’t ask policy act as a magnate (sic) for criminal illegal aliens but also for terrorist (double-sic). A terrorist attack in Houston could threaten the nations (trifecta-sic) energy supply."

My first thought upon seeing it was how much it reminded me of the infamous Timecube page. For those not famillar, timecube.com contains the schizophrenic pseudo-scientific rantings of a bizarre cook. The page's formatting has become iconic in internet humor. Compare:


www.timecube.com



www.protectourcitizens.com


So update your bios, people:

1. Shelley Gibbs is not a moderate.
2. Shelley Gibbs is an unprincpled hack.
3. Shelley Gibbs is dumb enough to hitch her train to the Nutball Express.


Choo-choo!