Thursday, June 29, 2006

What is the fewest number of pejoratives needed to accurately describe Shelley Sekula Gibbs?

Today, I'm going with four: Unprincipled sycophantic flip-flopping race-baiter.

You may have heard the news. Shelley Gibbs has jumped on the immigrant bashing bandwagon, joining up the terrifying extremists known as Protect Our Citizens. The group seeks to end the Houston police department's "sanctuary policy," a 16 year-old HPD order that commands local cops not to inquire about immigration status or enforce federal immigration laws. The policy is aimed at making sure Houston's 250,000 undocumented aliens are not afraid to call 911 or cooperate with police investigations:

But as I am sure Poetess Shelley would tell us, "Who knows what tomorrow may bring?"

Now, when you're an opportunistic puppet (ok, 6 pejoratives) looking to impress right-wing precinct chairs on a deadline, you don't have time to shop around for the perfect extremists. I mean, it's go-time. You just gotta latch onto the first collection of hate-mongers with a working knowledge of basic HTML and a possible a photo op.

And Shelley has found some particularly nasty hate-mongers. Their thesis? That Mexican drug cartels will take over the city by electing Democratic candidates. Seriously. It's the first article on their website. Citing incendiary rhetoric from Tom Tancredo, P.O.C. warns us that Mexican cartels will begin buying small restaurants, used-car lots and auto body shops, and then run Mexican candidates for city and county government who will let the drug cartels operate with impunity. I would reprint the article, but I am afraid my blog may catch intellectual chlamydia...

The POC website is a hodge-podge of error laden rants, bizarrely formatted with long, seemingly random sections of bold and underscore. Real excerpt: "Not only does this don’t ask policy act as a magnate (sic) for criminal illegal aliens but also for terrorist (double-sic). A terrorist attack in Houston could threaten the nations (trifecta-sic) energy supply."

My first thought upon seeing it was how much it reminded me of the infamous Timecube page. For those not famillar, contains the schizophrenic pseudo-scientific rantings of a bizarre cook. The page's formatting has become iconic in internet humor. Compare:

So update your bios, people:

1. Shelley Gibbs is not a moderate.
2. Shelley Gibbs is an unprincpled hack.
3. Shelley Gibbs is dumb enough to hitch her train to the Nutball Express.



Blogger muse said...

4. She is a fashion victim.

Someone get her a Banana Republic card quick and take her there for a shopping spree.

5:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

But, Muse, they simply don't carry enough hot pink leggings at Banana Republic for a grown woman to wear in Houston heat.

Leggings! She wore leggings. Hot pink leggings. Nobody over 12 years old should wear leggings.

6:55 AM  
Blogger John Coby said...

Rush limbaugh has a better chance finding a woman than Shelley becoming the "chosen one" to represent the Retards of the GOP.

6:53 AM  
Anonymous Nate said...

I hear Talton has got this wrapped up, in no small part because of Wallace and Gibbs acting like desperate fools these last couple of weeks.

I wonder how many perjoratives you'll need for him...

12:35 PM  
Anonymous Sugar Babe said...

The Ft. Bend Repubs are meeting tomorrow night to vote on their rep to the Gang of Four. Sparks will probably wait until Thursday to make his ruling just to watch the Repubs try to kill each other on Wednesday night.

1:41 PM  
Anonymous Montag said...

And don't forget that immigrants bring bubonic plague with them. My God, BUBONIC PLAGUE! We'll soon be re-enacting that scene from Monty Python--"Bring out yer dead!"

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Anonymous katlen said...

I am so glad you provided a link to this site in the Fort Bend Now comments on the write-in Republican candidate. I was actually leaning toward voting for someone else. The fact that Shelley Sekula Gibbs wants to stop ignoring those that break the law in this country by checking on their immigration status just guaranteed I will vote for her. At this point in time to two MOST import issue for me is a candidates position on illegal immigration and border security. If we don't close down our borders, prosecute and deport any illegal aliens we run across and stop providing ANY financial incentives to these law breakers, nothing else will matter anyway. In a few years, we won't be the United States of America any longer and anyone who is native born or here leagally will be the ones with no rights whatsoever. Thank you again for helping me decide on who to vote for.

2:17 PM  
Blogger Mark said...

That's all well and good, but EVERYTHING you mention concerns FEDERAL LAW, and I don't want my congressman delegating these duties to CITY cops that I pay for locally.

In addition, Shelley won't keep illegals out of this county. She's saying that to con you out of your vote, and you're so terrified you actually buy it. She has no real intention of doing anything.

Think for a moment who profits off illegal immigration. Never mind, I just remembered that you DON'T think, so I'll just tell you: Bob Perry.

Another question: Why doesn't it bother you that she is an unprincipled flip-flopper? 6 months ago, back when she wasn't trying to con you out of your vote, she opposed the position you are so loudly cheerleading for....

Then again, you didn't care about immigration 6 months ago. But then the RCC told you to care, so now you do.

The fact that you SO completely missed the point shows me you were never seriously considering any other perspective anyway. So color me unfazed.

Thank Brahma your kind is going the way of dinosaur...

3:46 PM  
Anonymous Rhymes With Right said...

So I assume, Mike, that you think Ted Kennedy is wrong to have dumped his pro-life position and gone pro-abortion -- and that he is unprincipled and opportunistic for having done so.

And i assume that you would associate the entire Democrat Party with the KKK (who were, of course, Democrats in good standing for most of their existance and have always been repudiated by the GOP) since the party links to Robert Byrd's website and he held a leadership role there. After all, that is the same sort of guilt by association bullcrap you are spewing here.

Also, it is interseting that folks who claim women should be judge based upon their ability and accomplishments fall back anti-woman stereotypes by criticizing the good doctor's fashion sense rather than her ideas.

4:11 PM  
Blogger Mark said...

First of all, Greg, my name is Mark.

Second, being a local activist, I don't really care too much about Ted Kennedy, but yes, if he expoused a strong belief one way, and then suddenly did a complete 180 in the span of six months on an issue that wasn't even in the national dialogue until seven months ago, and was clearly invoked for political reasons, than I think that's less than admirable. And your Byrd analogy is frankly laughable. The party links to a website of a politican I dislike who has an ugly past. You really think this is the same as what Gibbs is doing?

The short story is that Gibbs' recent re-alignments are shockingly transparent. I will obviously give room for a gradual change of heart based on changing social tides or a new conclusion based on new information, but that is clearly not what is going on with Gibbs.

She needed to curry favor with radical right wing precinct chairs like you who had been told she was too moderate. I know it. You know it. Dogs know it.

And finally, you take way too much pleasure in invoking the name of the Klan on various lefty blogs, which is sick, but you already know that. Let's throw away party label for just a moment (which, as a history teacher, you should know is completely misleading when speaking of this era)

Was the klan conservative or liberal?

I.e. - Are you proud to rail for the political philosophy that seeks to jealously guard the status quo, a philosophy that produced the KKK, Jim Crow, lynch mobs, abortion doctor assasins, and fat racist men on ATVs who patrol the border with automatic rifles?

Your mind tricks are useless on me, Sith.

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