Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Robert Talton brought cookies!

I am extremely disappointed. My computer and camera refuse to communicate, or else I would share with you actual photographs from inside tonight's Fort Bend Republican Party meeting, including me and my pal David Wallace. Check back tomorrow, and they should be up.

First I will give you the results of the two big votes tonight. With 56 of 64 precinct chairs present, Terese Raia defeated Pat Hebert with a 37-19 vote for the right to represent Fort Bend on the 4 person committee who will name DeLay's replacement.

The other vote was post-meeting straw poll of the declared candidates, which was a bit of a shock since Harris held a vote but withheld the results to prevent influencing other counties. The vote broke down as follows, with 12 chairs not voting:

But before you jump to any conclusions, remember that Terese is in no way bound by that vote, and in fact, handed out a lengthy questionnaire asking what they were looking for in a congressional candidate. Precinct chairs were queried on a broad range of ideological standards and Terese will presumably match these responses to the perfect candidate. It was like, but for evil.

An artist's impression of the precinct chair questionaire

When we arrived, volunteers handed us Official David Wallace Water Bottles. But as I walk around the corner, I am greeted by a long table with a Sekula-Gibbs banner and box after box of pizza. I began to wonder if they were running for congress or student council president. As the meeting began, Chair Gary Gillen thanked Wallace and Gibbs for providing refreshments. Suddenly, in a moment of truly wacky surrealism, Robert Talton leaps to his feet, exclaiming "I brought cookies!"

Another reason I wish my camera was more cooperative: Sekula-Gibbs was accompanied by volunteers led by who I can only assume to be her point-woman. (Or else this person spent an inordinate amount of her time whispering into Shelley's ear...) Continuing the theme of insane fashion in the Sekula-Gibbs campaign, the woman was dressed in jean cut offs and a white tank top emblazoned on both sides in huge neon letters: "SEX ON THE BEACH!" No, that is not a joke. UPDATE: Click here for photo.

Not to digress, but I forgot how genuinely terrifying Charlie Howard is in person. I mean, he's spooky in photos, but up close, he chills the bones. How did this man become a politician? He personifies a void in the English language - An antonym for "charisma." It's like some half-crazed voodoo necromancer created him out of animal bones, a hair piece and an off-the-rack suit.

I also found the opening prayer rather odd. It began with a strange ritual of self-flagellation (Woe, be it that we are soooo unworthy onto you our Lord! kind-of-stuff) that you rarely hear in Democrat prayers. We're much more of the "and we know how precious we are in your sight o' Lord!" type. Also, the cult of personality is still alive and well, as we all prayed for our great president, and "to give him strength against those would attack him, and let him carry forth the great struggle against those who seek to do wrong, etc. etc." Increasingly, it has become difficult to know if they are referring to the president's enemies abroad or at home.

A couple of summarizing thoughts:

1. Although a flop among the right-wing netroots, Wallace has aparently secured a lot of support among precinct chairs. Yet it still seems unclear whether he will get the vote out of his home county, which was a must have. As I said before, don't count on Terese to support him. Considering the strong showing he made, I believe she will initially lobby for Andy Meyers, who is her former boss. If she has a dog, it's Andy.

And I also think she is well aware of Wallace's less-than-squeaky clean image, as evidenced by the following actual question in her survey:

I think it's entirely possible that she may be drawn into a consensus vote for Talton by the Harris County crowd, even though he didn't get a single vote tonight. Terese is from the Christian Coalition wing of the party, and she will be impressed by Talton's culture warrior credentials.

2. Sekula-Gibbs is done.


Blogger Bryan said...

Did I ever tell you the story of seeing Charlie Howard giving lolipops to young female community college students? Remind me to tell you that story when I get home.

8:48 PM  
Blogger muse said...

bryan, I want to hear the story, also!

I'm hearing some of the Republicans at the meeting are not too happy that the results of the straw vote were announced. Some of them are pretty convinced that if the 12 people who didn't vote had voted, there is no way Wallace would have come out on top. Wallace definitley has his detractors in Fort Bend.

You know he is going to use this to get even more in everyone's faces through his campaign. Let's see, we've had a radio attack ad, glossy mailers, what's next for Slick Wally?

5:03 AM  
Anonymous Sugar Babe said...

Who counted these votes? Katherine Harris?

People who like Raia hate Wallace. The straw vote is whack. Raia makes her dislike for Wallace very clear and versa vice.

It doesn't add up. Somebody is cheating.

7:34 AM  
Blogger Bryan said...

Here's the story:

Before the last primaries there was a candidate's fair at HCC Stafford. Howard had an opponent in the primary, some guy named Booker if I remember correctly. Well Booker, like most of the candidates there, was conversing with the students, talking about local issues, ect. Charlie Howard on the other hand, was just walking around asking all the girls if the wanted a lolipop. It's one of the creepiest things I've ever seen.

You can see in this picture: that one of the girls has one of Charlie's lolipops in her mouth. I used that picture for Neeta's puchcard and had to photoshop the lolipop out of the picture.

8:06 AM  
Anonymous Wanda said...

Pictures! We want pictures!

9:12 AM  
Blogger Wanda said...

Raia hates Wallace since he defeated Hrbacek--her homeboy. I would think she would rather purchase a cake at Nooky's Exotic Bakery and eat it while reading Penthouse Letters than vote for David Wallace.

Left to her own devices, Raia would support Meyers, Howard or Talton--the anti-public education, anti-abortion, anti-anything that might be fun candidates who want to legislate morality.

9:15 AM  
Anonymous Juanita said...

Can Wallace get a refund on his bottled water now that Sparks has ruled he can't wear Tom's shoes while Tom is wearing them?

11:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You guys are a riot!
Other than the numbers, is this all creative writting?

1:15 PM  
Blogger Mark said...

Ok, for your benefit Mr. Anonymous lurker, we shall fact-check this post:

1. Terese Raia elected - Check
2. Terese handed out an asinine survey - Check
3. Dave brought water, Shelley brought pizza, and Bob demanded recognition for his cookies - Check
4. Shelley's point woman was bizarre - Check, pics to follow
5. Charlie Howard is spooky - Check
6. The opening prayer contained flagellation and hero worship - Check
7. Terese will not vote for Wallace - Check

I admit that I cannot confirm if Charlie Howard was created by a voodoo necormancer, nor can I stand by what seems to be an unsupported claim that is not evil.

2:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is a riot!!!!

I cant wait for the pictures!!!

3:41 PM  
Blogger muse said...

Can't wait to see the Sex On The Beach picture. In person, that woman was unbelievably out of place. Yall are really going to be suprised, because yes, this woman did seem to be attached to Shelley somehow.

Bryan, Howard's opponent in the primary was Ron Booker. I have a story for YOU about him! Good grief, I was NOT a happy person.

9:30 PM  
Anonymous Bev Carter said...

I love your blog! And I consider myself a media expert (self elected). However, I have a hard time reading with the black background and some stuff I can't read. Can you change it on my computer. Sign me computer challenged.

11:06 AM  
Blogger Mark said...

Hey Bev -

It's actually Mark here...Bryan is just an avid reader and resident Jedi comment poster.

The page is best viewed with Mozilla Firefox. I've noticed at work that certain monitors see it better than others.

I'm also pretty partial to the black layout, so two solutions for those with monitor glitches:

1. Highlight the text with your mouse. Changes all text to black on white instead of white on black/

2. If that fails, highlight the text, hit CTRL-C, open notepad or Microsoft word, or anything really, and then hit CTRL-V to paste it.

I'll test the page on a few other monitors, and if I get bad results, I might re-do the layout from scratch.

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