Thursday, August 17, 2006

Gary Gillen will not be bringing cookies...

It's been an interesting few days, so I'm betting some of you were wondering where I've been. If this week doesn't make me post, than something's up. Well, school is back in, and I'm trying to juggle work with Fort Bend Democrats with Property, Torts II, Contracts II, and Constitutional Law. And a LRW section.

So from now on, expect to hear from me about once a week.

G.G. Fresh, aka G-Diddy, aka Don Magic Gillen

Today, allow me to take a few seconds out of my day to laugh at Gary Gillen, the pasty plutocrat chairchild of the Fort Bend Republican Party. Some of you may remember that I recently attended and reported on a meeting conducted by Mr. Gillen. At this meeting, a group of Fort Bend precinct chairs voted to select one of their own to represent Fort Bend at another even more exclusive (and closed door) meeting. This so-called Meeting of Four would then select a candidate to illegally replace Tom DeLay as the GOP nominee for CD22. At the conclusion of this meeting, Gary announced the results of a poll among these precinct chairs which favored David Wallace, noted arms dealer, mayor of Sugar Land, and all around shady mofo.

That process was derailed by American patriot Antonin Scalia.

So now a new meeting has been called for the purpose of agreeing on a write-in candidate to unite behind. Others can debate the essential pointlessness of that enterprise (for I think even such a debate IS a pointless enterprise), but my point here is that another meeting of precinct chairs is being called to find a new GOP replacement (even though he won't have a big R after his name on the e-Slate, or even be on the e-Slate in any way, but again, let's stay on track).

Gillen has now done a complete 180, and is calling for all candidates and precinct chairs to boycott the event. His reason?

Gillen said he believes “that voters should choose our candidates, not some secret, closed meeting of less than one-tenth of 1% of the voters in Congressional District 22.”

Fine. But does somone want to explain to me why the Meeting of Four, which was to be a secret closed meeting of .013333% of the above mentioned less than one-tenth of 1% of the voters in CD22, WAS a valid way to choose a candidate?

{dramatic pause to shake head in awe at bold, transparent, DeLay-flavored hypocrisy}


{end dramatic pause}

Wait, there's more:

Gillen said there isn’t a connection between his stance toward Thursday’s meeting, Wallace’s apparent unwillingness to back down from his candidacy at the GOP’s request, and the fact Gillen thinks Wallace “would be an outstanding candidate.”

So what made Gary have a change of heart about the way the GOP is approaching the CD22 race? I mean seriously, who WOULDN'T want to go to this shin-dig? It's gonna be wall-to-wall with dirty-minded women and balding men. I've seen worse odds at Studio 54.

Wait a minute.....Oh snap! I answered my own question! Gary Gillen is a homosexual! There's no other explaination. None. Don't even say David Wallace. That's so petty. Only a dishonest political opportunist who is bankrupt on principles and integrity would screw his own party in favor of a crony, lie about it, and then hypocritically invoke the spirit of Democracy to defend himself. And Gary Gillen is not a dishonest political opportunist.

So that must mean he likes to hold hands with dudes, and that's A-OK with me.

I've also heard that Gary is having his own private, invitation only meeting at Pecan Grove Country Club. Sounds fun. And super-kinky. All the best Big Gay Gary! Keep reaching for that rainbow, buddy!

He's super, thanks for asking...


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