TX22 WARS - Episode VII: Return of the Wannabes
What has happened since we spoke last -
(In three words, total freakin' anarchy)
1. Tom DeLay, Texas Republican Party Chairman Tina Benkiser, and some unnamed members of the state GOP executive committee met Wednesday to pick a single write-in candidate to run for the congressional seat DeLay just vacated. Later we discover they were less than successful.
2. Hearing that this meeting is taking place, David Wollaccee suddenly proclaims himself as the write-in candidate before the meeting is over.
3. Likely out of sheer confusion and panic, Sally Sekkollia-Gibbons also declares herself as a write-in candidate.
4. After the unspeakably spooky meeting mentioned above adjourned, Benkiser hints that other candidates may be emerging, and when pressed, she names Saul Bettendorf, Tax Accessor-Collector of Harris County.
5. Any other person who pays $3125 or gets 500 signatures from non-primary voters can also be a declared write-in. Their names will all be on a piece of paper that will be taped inside the voting booth.
CONCLUSIONS:
A. The 2006 CD22 congressional race is no longer competitive.
It's strange, because you see GOP'ers online talking about how to best unite behind a candidate to beat Lampson. It's delusional....It would be delusional even without a significant number of GOP precinct chairs pushing to support the Libertarian candidate. All this circus sideshow write-in drama has nothing to do with the election in November, and I'm shocked these GOP activists don't realize it yet. What we are watching is the very beginnings of the 2008 GOP primary, and wouldn't you know it, it's already a pathetic mess.
B. However, the 2006 CD22 congressional race remains CRITICALLY IMPORTANT.
Let me use a military analogy. A space military analogy.
Remember when Han and Chewbacca's commando team brought down the energy shield on Endor, and Lando Calrissian lead a daring raid on the second Death Star, and the Emperor was defeated and the Ewoks danced and played xylophone on stormtrooper helmets?
A painstakingly sculptured recreation of the above event
Well, that's not the end of the story. Yes, the evil Emperor had been defeated, and yes there was a brief party, but there was still work to be done. A significant victory had been made, but you don't dismantle a galactic apparatus of intolerance by dethroning a crazy old man and his half-robot laser ninja. I mean, there are all manner of uptight chicken hawk bureaucrats with British accents spread across thousands of star systems, still stubbornly holding onto some Tibana gas mining colony or Durasteel consortium with accompanying kickbacks from less than savory Hutts.
The County Commisioners of the Nar Shadda System
Yes, a crushing defeat left the forces of evil in disarray, but they were still dangerous. And they would not hesitate to take the first available opportunity to shatter the fragile peace. Contenders began lining up to replace the Emperor, they stabbed each other in the back in countless tales of manipulation and betrayal. The machinations of the dark side were at work behind closed doors on hidden star systems. Though the galaxy appeared safe for progressive and enlightened thought, a new phantom menace was lurking...
...
Are you starting to get the picture? Reduce that galaxy far, far away by a factor of a trillion, and you have Fort Bend County politics. Nobody doubts Nick Lampwalker, I mean Lampson, will win in November. But with that victory comes an opportunity to send Nick to Congress with a massive mandate for change.
May the force be with us.
(In three words, total freakin' anarchy)
1. Tom DeLay, Texas Republican Party Chairman Tina Benkiser, and some unnamed members of the state GOP executive committee met Wednesday to pick a single write-in candidate to run for the congressional seat DeLay just vacated. Later we discover they were less than successful.
2. Hearing that this meeting is taking place, David Wollaccee suddenly proclaims himself as the write-in candidate before the meeting is over.
3. Likely out of sheer confusion and panic, Sally Sekkollia-Gibbons also declares herself as a write-in candidate.
4. After the unspeakably spooky meeting mentioned above adjourned, Benkiser hints that other candidates may be emerging, and when pressed, she names Saul Bettendorf, Tax Accessor-Collector of Harris County.
5. Any other person who pays $3125 or gets 500 signatures from non-primary voters can also be a declared write-in. Their names will all be on a piece of paper that will be taped inside the voting booth.
CONCLUSIONS:
A. The 2006 CD22 congressional race is no longer competitive.
It's strange, because you see GOP'ers online talking about how to best unite behind a candidate to beat Lampson. It's delusional....It would be delusional even without a significant number of GOP precinct chairs pushing to support the Libertarian candidate. All this circus sideshow write-in drama has nothing to do with the election in November, and I'm shocked these GOP activists don't realize it yet. What we are watching is the very beginnings of the 2008 GOP primary, and wouldn't you know it, it's already a pathetic mess.
B. However, the 2006 CD22 congressional race remains CRITICALLY IMPORTANT.
Let me use a military analogy. A space military analogy.
Remember when Han and Chewbacca's commando team brought down the energy shield on Endor, and Lando Calrissian lead a daring raid on the second Death Star, and the Emperor was defeated and the Ewoks danced and played xylophone on stormtrooper helmets?
A painstakingly sculptured recreation of the above event
Well, that's not the end of the story. Yes, the evil Emperor had been defeated, and yes there was a brief party, but there was still work to be done. A significant victory had been made, but you don't dismantle a galactic apparatus of intolerance by dethroning a crazy old man and his half-robot laser ninja. I mean, there are all manner of uptight chicken hawk bureaucrats with British accents spread across thousands of star systems, still stubbornly holding onto some Tibana gas mining colony or Durasteel consortium with accompanying kickbacks from less than savory Hutts.
The County Commisioners of the Nar Shadda System
Yes, a crushing defeat left the forces of evil in disarray, but they were still dangerous. And they would not hesitate to take the first available opportunity to shatter the fragile peace. Contenders began lining up to replace the Emperor, they stabbed each other in the back in countless tales of manipulation and betrayal. The machinations of the dark side were at work behind closed doors on hidden star systems. Though the galaxy appeared safe for progressive and enlightened thought, a new phantom menace was lurking...
...
Are you starting to get the picture? Reduce that galaxy far, far away by a factor of a trillion, and you have Fort Bend County politics. Nobody doubts Nick Lampwalker, I mean Lampson, will win in November. But with that victory comes an opportunity to send Nick to Congress with a massive mandate for change.
May the force be with us.
posted by Mark at 1:09 PM
2 Comments:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thrawn
Or like Hercules fighting the Hydra--every time he cut off one of its multiple heads, each stump would grow two more. He then cauterized each stump with a torch after beheading it to kill the darn thing.
Is Dick Cheney Darth Vader?
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