Friday, October 27, 2006

Shelley Sekula Gibbs, the NRCC, and Stevie Wonder

So I know an audio guy named David who has made it his special project to record all the political calls he gets during this election cycle. His recording of the bizarre Gibb's push poll made the rounds a few weeks back, even finding its way onto Bob Smither's website. But now he's got a new one, and it's amazingly strange.

This week, he recorded another extremely bizarre call he received on behalf of Shelley Sekula Gibbs. The call features a young out-of-state telemarketer fumbling her way through instructions on how to vote for Gibbs. But when she's done, my friend David starts hitting her with questions she can't answer. The call is filled with insanely long awkward pauses, shifting excuses, and strange background noises of people screaming. My theory is that the call company is using a cheap VOIP system, and that if you don't hang up, they can't move on to the next call. Their only option is to pull the plug on the system and do a full reset, which is a last resort.

The caller tries to do everything to cover up who is funding the calls, but finally admits that it is the Nat'l Republican Congressional Committee, after first claiming she works for "Independant Research Firm." And there's the rub - If the NRCC is calling, they can't legally ask you to support any specific candidate. This call skates the very edge of campaign finance laws, and when the GOP caller is pressed on details, signs of panic emerge (like the screaming), and towards the end, a supervisor obviously throws a short script with a legal disclaimer in front of her.

Anyway, the call is very weird and uncomfortable, and filled with huge silences.

The Republican party could save their volunteers a lot of awkward moments if they would just pony up and buy some Hold Muzak(TM). So I did it for them. Look how much more professional the call sounds when you fill the silences with a tranquil instrumental version of Stevie Wonder's 1984 smash hit, "I Just Called to Say I Love You." Click here to hear the new and improved version. It's about three minutes long. The first minute is the RCCC script being read, but the fun begins when David starts asking questions...

Or click here to hear the original with long awkward periods of silence.


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